Baggage Ain't Always Bad - My Best First Date Ever.. Silky Cocoa with Bourbon & Spice Seared Marshmallows

A Cup Called Desire

Men and women are different in so many ways more than the obvious ones. It's quite common for a little girl to fantasize about her wedding day. It's fairytale, she's the princess and her handsome prince is there dressed in white to take her hand and live happily ever after. In some cases I'm sure that this actually plays itself out but I'll assure there are few little boys that share that fantasy. I guess we are just socialized differently. Normally as little boys we are more into sports, racing cars and trying to fit in with the other little boys.

I'm not sure of when I actually broke out of the sports & racing cars mentality but when I did I had to make up for lost time. When I was young I had few problems picking up girls and less problems putting them back when I was done. I never considered myself a ho I just liked to date and loved variety, after all it was the spice of life. I never made enemies and have always been able to keep friendships intact with every female that I have ever dated and considered special in my life.  At the same time I did get around a bit. 

There are a couple of funny things that your predecessors don't really tell you about maturity. It comes in spurts and often times you don't even know it until you have had the chance to reflect on situations from your past. That being said (or written in this case), I'd like to share with you one of the most poignant first dates I have ever had the pleasure of going on....

We spoke on the phone briefly at the behest of mutual friends that knew us both. It seems they both thought we would be the perfect fit for one another. The conversation was kind of awkward, to be honest. We struggled through the normal "What do you do?" "Where are you from?" chatter but eventually we found our groove. I think the conversation lasted about 10 minutes. We planned to meet up for dinner a movie and drinks and then we would see where the night would take us. 

I seem to remember our friends offering to double date but wisely we declined and decided to go it without the chaperones, just the two of us. We ate and then had a few drinks before watching a late movie, it was a Friday night so it was late when it ended. During dinner and the movie we managed to slip in clever conversation but I really wanted the date to continue except by now it was about Midnight. There was always the option of that not really awkward; "Your place or mine?" blurb but I was thinking that I really wanted this to be different than my normal routine. I was also sure that she would have asked me back to her place as we were really connecting. As I debated on how I could persuade this young lady to stay out for a while longer with me my mind raced to think of places that would be open that late in DC (this was the early 90's and DC shut it down early in those days). I figured on a spot that would foster an environment that might be intimate enough for us to converse and at least hear each other as we did so. I finally garnered the nerve to simply ask her. "I'm feeling you and don't want this night to end just yet." "Do you think we can just go to one of my spots and just chill for a while, just to talk?" I'm sure she was thinking, "Brother, you ain't slick!" "Trying to get me drunk and then what???" But if that was her thought she didn't share that with me. Instead, she simply said "I was thinking the same thing!" 

The place I decided to take her was seedy at best but to me it had a charm that few in DC really knew about. This place was a coffee spot / library / bike messenger hangout. They didn't sell liquor or books and they could care less if you stayed there the whole night on one cup of coffee. As a matter of fact the waiter would bring out a blanket for you and encourage you to snuggle with whom ever you came with. I would normally go there by myself and have a cup of hot chocolate just to read or people watch until I would get sleepy and finally go home. I would never invite someone else to go with me, ever. I couldn't imagine anyone liking this spot but me. It had funky ass, non showering all day bike messengers and other people that seemed to have left society behind for one reason or another, yet here we were. 

When we first walked in I tried to gauge her reaction to what she was seeing. I was thinking that she would be "off put" but there was no indication of such. Now comes the waitress, Blondee. This was a girl with dreads that were of course blonde and looked as if something would crawl out of her hair to seat us if she wasn't quick about it. Blondee, however was the kindest of souls that I have ever met. She always took the time to connect with each person that she waited on and as a result you felt like she was there just for you. I wanted to see what she would think about her as well, again, no reaction at all.Now time to sit on this ratty ass couch. My date sat first and pulled me in close to her so that we could share the menu. I was smitten.... This young lady really had me. We ordered and talked the night away. After about an hour Blondee came by with a warm and toasty blanket and we sat there for the next 5 hours talking, sipping, cuddling and drifting in and out of sleep. When we woke up we both noticed that the sun was about to rise. We just smiled and watched it as it came up, over the buildings and right in our coffee shop. There we sat just embracing and sipping on our hot chocolate. We didn't kiss nor did we do any petting at all. It was the best date ever! What was really special to me about this situation is that while we were both total misfits in this place, we managed not only to get comfortable but to be lost in each other. Neither of us talked about the ratty furniture or cringed when the dingy blanket hit our skin. The only thing that mattered was the fact that we were there, in each other's arms and in each other's presence simply getting to know each other. It was and continues to be beautiful.

Here's the part on maturity. Up until that night dating was all about conquest for me. I could care less about connection if it didn't lead to what I thought was intimacy. What I learned that night was that I appreciate intimacy on a far deeper level than prior. It's funny when I hear people say "I'd have sex with him/her but I wouldn't kiss them!" seems that sex would be the more intimate of the two but kissing is connecting in ways that we just don't want to do with just anyone. What that night taught me is that getting to know someone is much more intimate than sex will ever be. I so appreciate that we chose to get to know each other in such a special way. I'm sure she doesn't know it but it still makes me smile when I think about the time that we decided to do something different and take a chance to really be intimate. Although eventually we both went our separate ways I can rest assured that someone is reaping the benefits of the date that we shared. Yep, there's always baggage that you bring into a relationship from your past. The good thing about it is the baggage doesn't always have to be negative...

Bullet Bourbon

On the menu today : Silky Hot Cocoa with Bourbon & Spice Seared Marshmallows

Silky Cocoa, Bourbon with a Spice Seared Marshmallow

We will need the following:

• Bittersweet Chocolate Powder (5 Tbs) 
• Chocolate Morsels  (1 Tbs)
• Bourbon (To Taste)
• Sugar ( 1 Tbs) 
• Milk (3 cups) 
• Heavy Cream (1 cup) 
• Cornstarch (2 tsp) 
• Nutmeg (Dash) 
• Marshmallows (2 per cup) 
• Paprika (Dash) 
• Salt (Dash) 

Silky Cocoa

This is simply the silkiest and best tasting hot cocoa that you will ever make, hands down! If you notice there's not much sugar added to the recipe because the chocolate is the star in this mug of joy. It may seem a bit weird but by adding a dash of salt you will be able to taste each facet of the chocolate that you are using. As a result I suggest you skip the Hersey's and get as something a bit more refined. By adding the seared and spicy marshmallows this cocoa is sure to be a show stopper.

Start by adding the milk and cream to a sauce pot. Add the chocolate powder and whisk in to avoid lumps and add the morsels next, again whisking to incorporate. Now add the sugar and then the cornstarch. Whisk briskly and allow the mixture to bubble slightly add and thicken. Next get a saute pan searing hot and take 1 marshmallow and press it into the pan with one finger. Remove once charred (5 seconds or so) and place on a plate seared side up. Repeat this process for each marshmallow you have and then sprinkle with a dash of nutmeg & a dash of paprika.

That Mallow

Finally pour the chocolate into mugs or cups. Allow each person to take a sip of their hot cocoa and then have them add a dash of salt. Have them taste it again and watch their reaction. Platter the marshmallows as this will allow each person to add as many as they want or leave them out all together. I also serve this with a mini carafe of Bullet Bourbon to allow each adult to make their own decision about the addition of liquor but trust me it's good. The silkiness of this cocoa will warm your soul and tantalize your palate.