Baggage Ain't Always Bad - My Best First Date Ever.. Silky Cocoa with Bourbon & Spice Seared Marshmallows

A Cup Called Desire

Men and women are different in so many ways more than the obvious ones. It's quite common for a little girl to fantasize about her wedding day. It's fairytale, she's the princess and her handsome prince is there dressed in white to take her hand and live happily ever after. In some cases I'm sure that this actually plays itself out but I'll assure there are few little boys that share that fantasy. I guess we are just socialized differently. Normally as little boys we are more into sports, racing cars and trying to fit in with the other little boys.

I'm not sure of when I actually broke out of the sports & racing cars mentality but when I did I had to make up for lost time. When I was young I had few problems picking up girls and less problems putting them back when I was done. I never considered myself a ho I just liked to date and loved variety, after all it was the spice of life. I never made enemies and have always been able to keep friendships intact with every female that I have ever dated and considered special in my life.  At the same time I did get around a bit. 

There are a couple of funny things that your predecessors don't really tell you about maturity. It comes in spurts and often times you don't even know it until you have had the chance to reflect on situations from your past. That being said (or written in this case), I'd like to share with you one of the most poignant first dates I have ever had the pleasure of going on....

We spoke on the phone briefly at the behest of mutual friends that knew us both. It seems they both thought we would be the perfect fit for one another. The conversation was kind of awkward, to be honest. We struggled through the normal "What do you do?" "Where are you from?" chatter but eventually we found our groove. I think the conversation lasted about 10 minutes. We planned to meet up for dinner a movie and drinks and then we would see where the night would take us. 

I seem to remember our friends offering to double date but wisely we declined and decided to go it without the chaperones, just the two of us. We ate and then had a few drinks before watching a late movie, it was a Friday night so it was late when it ended. During dinner and the movie we managed to slip in clever conversation but I really wanted the date to continue except by now it was about Midnight. There was always the option of that not really awkward; "Your place or mine?" blurb but I was thinking that I really wanted this to be different than my normal routine. I was also sure that she would have asked me back to her place as we were really connecting. As I debated on how I could persuade this young lady to stay out for a while longer with me my mind raced to think of places that would be open that late in DC (this was the early 90's and DC shut it down early in those days). I figured on a spot that would foster an environment that might be intimate enough for us to converse and at least hear each other as we did so. I finally garnered the nerve to simply ask her. "I'm feeling you and don't want this night to end just yet." "Do you think we can just go to one of my spots and just chill for a while, just to talk?" I'm sure she was thinking, "Brother, you ain't slick!" "Trying to get me drunk and then what???" But if that was her thought she didn't share that with me. Instead, she simply said "I was thinking the same thing!" 

The place I decided to take her was seedy at best but to me it had a charm that few in DC really knew about. This place was a coffee spot / library / bike messenger hangout. They didn't sell liquor or books and they could care less if you stayed there the whole night on one cup of coffee. As a matter of fact the waiter would bring out a blanket for you and encourage you to snuggle with whom ever you came with. I would normally go there by myself and have a cup of hot chocolate just to read or people watch until I would get sleepy and finally go home. I would never invite someone else to go with me, ever. I couldn't imagine anyone liking this spot but me. It had funky ass, non showering all day bike messengers and other people that seemed to have left society behind for one reason or another, yet here we were. 

When we first walked in I tried to gauge her reaction to what she was seeing. I was thinking that she would be "off put" but there was no indication of such. Now comes the waitress, Blondee. This was a girl with dreads that were of course blonde and looked as if something would crawl out of her hair to seat us if she wasn't quick about it. Blondee, however was the kindest of souls that I have ever met. She always took the time to connect with each person that she waited on and as a result you felt like she was there just for you. I wanted to see what she would think about her as well, again, no reaction at all.Now time to sit on this ratty ass couch. My date sat first and pulled me in close to her so that we could share the menu. I was smitten.... This young lady really had me. We ordered and talked the night away. After about an hour Blondee came by with a warm and toasty blanket and we sat there for the next 5 hours talking, sipping, cuddling and drifting in and out of sleep. When we woke up we both noticed that the sun was about to rise. We just smiled and watched it as it came up, over the buildings and right in our coffee shop. There we sat just embracing and sipping on our hot chocolate. We didn't kiss nor did we do any petting at all. It was the best date ever! What was really special to me about this situation is that while we were both total misfits in this place, we managed not only to get comfortable but to be lost in each other. Neither of us talked about the ratty furniture or cringed when the dingy blanket hit our skin. The only thing that mattered was the fact that we were there, in each other's arms and in each other's presence simply getting to know each other. It was and continues to be beautiful.

Here's the part on maturity. Up until that night dating was all about conquest for me. I could care less about connection if it didn't lead to what I thought was intimacy. What I learned that night was that I appreciate intimacy on a far deeper level than prior. It's funny when I hear people say "I'd have sex with him/her but I wouldn't kiss them!" seems that sex would be the more intimate of the two but kissing is connecting in ways that we just don't want to do with just anyone. What that night taught me is that getting to know someone is much more intimate than sex will ever be. I so appreciate that we chose to get to know each other in such a special way. I'm sure she doesn't know it but it still makes me smile when I think about the time that we decided to do something different and take a chance to really be intimate. Although eventually we both went our separate ways I can rest assured that someone is reaping the benefits of the date that we shared. Yep, there's always baggage that you bring into a relationship from your past. The good thing about it is the baggage doesn't always have to be negative...

Bullet Bourbon

On the menu today : Silky Hot Cocoa with Bourbon & Spice Seared Marshmallows

Silky Cocoa, Bourbon with a Spice Seared Marshmallow

We will need the following:

• Bittersweet Chocolate Powder (5 Tbs) 
• Chocolate Morsels  (1 Tbs)
• Bourbon (To Taste)
• Sugar ( 1 Tbs) 
• Milk (3 cups) 
• Heavy Cream (1 cup) 
• Cornstarch (2 tsp) 
• Nutmeg (Dash) 
• Marshmallows (2 per cup) 
• Paprika (Dash) 
• Salt (Dash) 

Silky Cocoa

This is simply the silkiest and best tasting hot cocoa that you will ever make, hands down! If you notice there's not much sugar added to the recipe because the chocolate is the star in this mug of joy. It may seem a bit weird but by adding a dash of salt you will be able to taste each facet of the chocolate that you are using. As a result I suggest you skip the Hersey's and get as something a bit more refined. By adding the seared and spicy marshmallows this cocoa is sure to be a show stopper.

Start by adding the milk and cream to a sauce pot. Add the chocolate powder and whisk in to avoid lumps and add the morsels next, again whisking to incorporate. Now add the sugar and then the cornstarch. Whisk briskly and allow the mixture to bubble slightly add and thicken. Next get a saute pan searing hot and take 1 marshmallow and press it into the pan with one finger. Remove once charred (5 seconds or so) and place on a plate seared side up. Repeat this process for each marshmallow you have and then sprinkle with a dash of nutmeg & a dash of paprika.

That Mallow

Finally pour the chocolate into mugs or cups. Allow each person to take a sip of their hot cocoa and then have them add a dash of salt. Have them taste it again and watch their reaction. Platter the marshmallows as this will allow each person to add as many as they want or leave them out all together. I also serve this with a mini carafe of Bullet Bourbon to allow each adult to make their own decision about the addition of liquor but trust me it's good. The silkiness of this cocoa will warm your soul and tantalize your palate.

The Life & Times of The Three Frankies... I Told Y'all Growing Up Was Fun........Chicken w/ Asian Slaw Sandwich

1973??

Growing up was fun for me. Of course it had its' ups and downs but overall I laughed and smiled my way through the first 25 years of my life. Grade school and high school had me in "find my way" mode but by the time I hit college I thought I knew everything. While my DeMatha H.S. days were great, by far my most comical years were those during college.

Back In The Day 

My Peeps

In the late 80's life for me was all about having a good time, part of that meant laughing through struggle. When me and my boys were young part of that fun was listening to Richard Pryor. Sure there was Eddie Murphy but his stint on SNL ended in 83 and by 87 when he recorded RAW it was just too mean spirited for me to find all that funny. Rich was the type of comedian that used himself as the punchline! After all in one bit he  personified snot, made it relatable and had you laughing at his expense through your memory of a similar situation.  Brilliant..... We would sneak to our parents basement and listen to every line hoping and praying to drop one of his gems at the opportune time just so we could all fall out in laughter. At any rate, there was one skit in particular that we made a life style of, Frankie..... In the skit Richard is telling the story of a dude (Rich himself) that get's paid on a Friday, goes to the bar, gets drunk, talks trash to everyone in the bar, gets thrown out of said bar and then dropped off by his friend and as the friend pulls off Rich screams one thing to him: "Frankie, Thank you Pahtnah!!!"

Frankie Story Go to the 3.55 mark and listen, hilarious.........

"Thank you Frankie Pahtnah", This is a phrase that floored us. It created a whole new world for the story to us. Did any of you ever read Hamlet? Of course many of you did, it was required reading for us old heads. Here's a better more relatable question to help you get my point. Did any of you ever read Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead ? If you did then you should get the point. We started a new life for both Rich and Frankie. By the time we were done creating different scenarios we realized that they had many more misadventures. We surmised Rich just never bothered to share them with us. We also decided that the real character in the story was Rich's boy Frankie. After all who continues to go out with a brutha that get's drunk, embarrasses the hell out of you and himself, gets thrown out and then has you drop his drunk azz home????? Allow me to answer that, US.... LOL. We all decided that Frankie was in each of  us.

The Frankies consisted of me, my boy Rick & best friend Steve. Three drunks that were "libel to" belly up to anyone's bar and act a damn fool all night long. Ask any of our friends...... The three of us were completely different though. I was the quiet type, that played the wall but always had something to say. I guess I was kind of the "around the way" Frankie and as a result I was dubbed Frankie Evans (pronounced with a southern drawl Ebb-Ins). Frankie Evans was all about fun but stayed cool in all situations. Evans had no soul and more importantly NO FILTER. What you saw is exactly what you got and then some. He would never approach women his standoffishness would draw the ladies to him eventually and if they didn't come then he didn't need them anyway. Rick was loud and obnoxious "drank" in hand or not. He was also flashy when he wanted attention so we took to calling him Frankie Owens. F.O. was the type of brutha that rolled up on your girl as soon as you went to the bathroom after he locked you in it. He also had the ability to make you laugh about it once you got out and found out what he was up to. Steve was always the quietest one of us all but he was a pretty boy. Pretty hair and a full beard since 2nd grade, this cat looked like the regal type inebriate (see even calling him a drunkard requires fancy talk)! We gave our diminutive Frankie the appropriate name Frankie Fauntleroy. This dude would have the women fighting over him to buy him drinks and because he was a drunk he took them up on it. Frankie Fauntleroy slummed more Mu's than either of us cares to recall or talk about but that's another story. 

On one occasion the three of us went to a house party down the street from Fauntleroy's house at another friend's house. There we are, the Frankies at our first official outing each of us in character. All knowing our lines and just as importantly knowing not to step on each other's. We were good friends with the hostess so we decided to show "what they call" the fuch out. In I come as usual understated and playing the wall, next is Fauntleroy heading straight for the ladies and of course the liquor and finally Frankie Owens, this train wreck came in shirt unbuttoned, gold chain entwined in the taco meat he played off as chest hair, cutting every bit the fool. Problem was when we got in we found out that it was a party for the youngsters. I think we were Juniors by now and inside the party were all freshman from Norfolk State. (As if). It was like the scene in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, when Antonio Fargas gets out of jail with his 70's rags on trying to rock the same joints in the 90's. By the time we reached the basement our act was old and not flying at this daycare. We cracked jokes, ate the food and rolled out with all of the liquor unnoticed or so I had thought. When I reached the door one of the dudes dropped the dime on us. Me, in all of my Frankie glory, cursed him the hell out and kept it moving. Just as I was leaving and walking down the driveway talking about fighting this youngster, who do I see but another group of my friends coming up the other side of the driveway wondering what the heck is going on. I stop for a second, dude comes out of the party still yelling "they stealing the liquor!" Now all of the fine (and I do mean FINE) women come out of the party to see the ruckus. As soon as they come out and lay eyes on me I slip and fall all the way down the driveway and under the parked car. I get up, dust myself off but notice that I have sacrificed the bottles in my fall and I am dripping wet with snow, ice and alcohol. Being the Frankie that I was I looked at my boys, the girl throwing the party, the other 2 Frankies, the crowd and offered this one liner, "Frankie, Thank you Patnah!" The three of us fell out laughing cracked a bottle right there and passed it around to the crowd outside of the party. Did we leave??? Please the Frankies always overstayed their welcome. We got put out by our friend's mama at 6 in the morning when she came home. At least we had an epic story to share over drinks later that day..... 

I'm sure that some of you are asking yourself or at least thinking, "What in the hell does this have to do with cooking or recipes?" I offer only this! My recipes are a collection of memories, there are smells that trigger a childhood flashback and away I go. There are times when I'm sad and cooking is my only rescue. There are certain foods that remind me of periods in my life when a chuckle was what made the struggle not only tolerable but laughable. When you are young and trying to figure things out it's often times the simple things that carry you through, after all normally all you can afford are the simple things. Besides that I have stories to share and this is my damn blog so I'll do what I want. All joking aside, I really do appreciate every thing that I have been through and just want to relive it through stories shared and if I can give you a recipe while doing so win win right??????

  On the Menu today: OPC's Asian Chicken Sandwich

This Gone Be Good!!!

For Chicken you will need the following:

• Chicken Breast (4 each cut in Half lengthwise) 
• Butter Milk (2 cups)
• Garlic (1 Tbs) 
• Flour (2 Cups)
• Paprika (1 tsp)
• Season Salt (1 Tbs)
• Powdered Garlic (1/2 tsp)
• Deep Fryer 
• Oil 
• Soft French Bread (1-2 loaves)

Asian Slaw

For the Asian Slaw:

• Cabbage (1 head) 
• Red Cabbage (1 head)
• Red Onions (1-2 med) 
• Carrots (5-6 med)
• Cilantro (2 cups)
• Thai Chilies (10 each)
• Rice Vinegar (1/2 Cup)
• Singha Beer (1/3 Cup)
• Soy Sauce (1 Tbs)
• Sugar (1 tsp) 
• Olive Oil (2 Tbs)

Start off by cutting the chicken breast in half and then add the minced garlic to the buttermilk, allowing the chicken to marinate in the mixture for 12-24 hours in a refrigerator. To make the slaw julienne the cabbage, carrots, and onions then coin the thai chillies and chop the cilantro coarsely. Take the olive oil, rice vinegar, sugar and soy sauce and combine to make a dressing. Dress the slaw with this and allow to sit for at least 18 hours sealed tightly. When ready to cook the chicken preheat the deep fryer to high. Meanwhile, add the dry ingredients together and coat the chicken breast in it. The best method is to use a paper bag to do so. Deep fry until golden brown and cooked thoroughly to hold an internal temperature of 165 degrees for 15 seconds. Take out and allow to pat dry on a rack or paper towel then assemble the sandwich. Add the slaw to the bottom of the sandwich then place the chicken on it, slice and enjoy with a crisp beer....... Singha Beer is best for this........

The Travel Series - From Kabul to Dubai To DC and Finally Dallas.. Or: Do Mess With Texas.... Dallas, that is..........

Clouds Over Kabul 

The Start of Something Special 

When I took to the skies above Kabul after 79 straight, long summer days of work I knew I was in for a treat. When I looked out the window of my flight I was able to capture the clouds seemingly erupting above the cloud line and was lucky enough to take pictures of them. They looked like they were fist pumping in the air and urging me to press on. With a quick stop in Dubai, of course a stop at Mall of Dubai and a few drinks my travel schedule was going to get a bit hectic from that point on.

Lemon Drop

Sushi 

Foster's 

OPC- AKA Mark........

If you have ever worked overseas on contracts you know that there is no such thing as a day off. I mean literally you work 7 days a week and 12.5 hours a day, so when it's time to chill I tend to do the "most" after all I've been cooped up for the better of three months. When last I shared I was on my way from St. Martin but this time I had even more planned. When I first get back to my native DC the first thing I do is get a haircut, then it's off to get a manicure and pedicure (3 months man) and finally to see my parents to catch up and say hello. Shortly thereafter I am unpacking and repacking for an excursion or 2 maybe even 5 or so.

In this instance I would be going from Dubai to DC first then going to Miami, Bahamas, Miami, DC, Dallas, DC, Miami, Barbados, Miami back to DC and finally back to Dubai. All this was happening inside 25 days. Talk about frequent flyer miles, actually talk about travel weariness!

Majestic Hotel 

First up was Dubai for a quick in and out. I stayed at the Majestic Hotel in Bur Dubai. The place is located in great proximity to what I want to do and is classy but not over the top. All this and my company pays for my stay there so it's a can't lose. I'm literally there for 12 hours max and then I'm on my way to DC by 2 a.m. This place has great amenities, a cool bar and pool plus three decent restaurants.

View from the top

Next up I'm on my way to Washington DC. The trip from Dubai is routine for me now and it beats having to go back to San Francisco, which is what I did for the prior 3 years. Now the trip has been trimmed to 13 hours. My routine is to get three drinks, watch two movies and fall to sleep for at least 5 hours. After that I will drift in and out of sleep while having movies watch me or music listening to me snore for the remainder of the trip. Everything is made easier with planning.

Flying To The Sun 

I'll skip over the first part of my trip as it was on quick 5-6 days in Miami and Bahamas and get back to those in a different post. Instead I'll start with my trip to Dallas. There's a popular saying that all Texan's love to quote: " Don't Mess With Texas"! Not sure about the roots for that statement but I guess it makes sense to them. I try to plan a trip to see the Redskins play an away game at least once per season and Dallas is normally the away game that I choose. In the past when I have gone I stay with friends but this time I wanted to stay in downtown Dallas and just hang out to see new sights and relax. As usual I went online to see what hotels were available and what would suit my taste, what I found was the crown jewel of Dallas Texas, at least in my opinion.

http://www.thejouledallas.com/

Hotel Joule has everything you need and by everything I mean you will want for nothing. From the state of the art Samsung Flat Screen TVs in you living room and bedroom,  the Bose entertainment system, the mini bar, the sunken tub for two and the BVLGARI bath products this place will satisfy your every need. The staff is extremely attentive and accommodating. After traveling outside of the U.S.  I noticed that the service industry in the U.S., to put it simply, SUCKS. Our service workers act like they are doing you a favor just by being present and this is across the board, restaurants, hotels, retail stores even coffee shops. These folks have no idea what customer service is let alone how to give it. But in Hotel Joule it's like time has turned back and the service that makes travelers feel at home while away is here in spades. There's turn down service (I appreciate getting chocolates on my pillow when I come in from a long day of tourism), rooftop bar, pool with a view and free cabanas. There are also two great restaurants there on the premises one happening to be a Charlie Palmer Steak House. I really couldn't ask for anything more. I was there for 6 days and I can't even remember opening the door for myself. Talk about "want for nothing service".

Hotel Lobby

Product

Lobby Art Work 

When I go on vacation I try to catch the earliest flight possible and reserve an early check in for my room in an effort to get an extra day out of my trip. If you travel frequently and check in with your passport most places are more than happy to put you directly into your room. I'm always traveling from Dubai or Afghanistan when I checking in so there are no problems getting in as soon as I arrive. I got to Dallas at around 1 pm, checked in at 2, unpacked and was ready to hit the town by 4 pm. 1st up was a decent meal. After much deliberation I settled in at the Dallas Fish Market, which just happened to be directly across from the hotel. The ambiance was nice, soft blues and crisp whites in decor and funky house music subtly playing in the background. The food was excellent, drinks flavorful, the service was top notch and the price point was incredible considering the quality of food that came out. I think I sat there for about an hour after eating and just relaxed and listened to the music play. Afterwards I went out to take a few picture and to do some recon on the area...

St Jude 

http://www.dallasfishmarket.com/

Downtown Dallas

The following day I decided it was time to smell the roses, literally, I guess. I had heard about the Dallas Arboretum from all of the locals so of course where better to do so (smell the roses) than there? Since it was early October of course pumpkins were all the rage and of course on full display there. The cost was relatively low and more than worth it.

http://www.dallasarboretum.org/

Lotus Flower 

The next few days leading up to the big Sunday Night Game were spent going to various bars and eateries. Most were good but there are a few that were exceptional. The Dallas Chop House was swarmed so the service was slow but they did the best that they could and the food was well worth the wait but that wait was hellacious (says a lot about the food though)! The Standard Pour is a great place to go whether  you have a large, rowdy group or if you want intimacy. I know it seems like the two can't coexist in the same place but this place is able to pull it off and me and the crew had a ball... Go for the "Pickle-Back Shot" (picture below). OMG it's so good...............

http://www.dallaschophouse.com/

http://www.tspdallas.com/

The day of the game is always fun but after all of the Pickel-Back shots from the prior day I was on chill mode for most of the game. I did manage to get a few good shots, had awesome seats and enjoyed the game despite the outcome. As you should know AT & T Stadium is simply the best stadium in the U.S. hands down. After all, this was the excuse I used to come to Dallas in the first place. Trust that it did not disappoint one bit.....

The Giz-zel under center...

For my final day in Dallas I wanted to make it simple but special. Yes, I was spoiled by The Joule but I was told that Fearing's was the place to go before I left town. The restaurant is in the Ritz-Carlton so you know it has to be on point in all phases ; decor, innovation, service and quality. It's casual but tell that to the folks that dine there. No matter what you wear you will be made to feel right at home and the food is great, point blank. I had the Dr. Pepper Braised Short Rib, with Mashed Potatoes and Crispy Tobacco Onions and a locally brewed beer. As a take home treat you are given a box of freshly baked chocolate chip biscotti. Well played Chef Fearing, well played in deed.

http://www.fearingsrestaurant.com/ 

Dessert Choco Trio 

Box of Goodies 

http://www.fearingsrestaurant.com/tour.aspx#tour_2

At the end of the day traveling is what you make it. I had good friends around me, great food within 100 feet at any time and drinks at the extension of my hand. This combination made for great times. I love traveling solo but groups have their advantages as well. Dallas is a place that I will go to yearly if for no other reason than to see my Skins play the Boys and the bonus is that this is a great city. The people are friendly and eager to help. The rivalry is amicable and trust that while you are there you will throw more than a few back with a fan of the opposite team no matter who's winning or who wins. I love this place. In Other words Do Mess With Texas.........